Life is So Precious

A Missing Friend, an Exhausted Uterus, and Taking a Break

My friend from Arizona is missing, and I don’t think any of us who know and love her will ever be the same. I can’t imagine what her family is going through.

Leah is magic. When we moved to Arizona to raise support to go to Belize, she and her husband became our first friends. They welcomed us with open arms, invited us to family functions, and introduced us to others. For those two years, we formed a family among those in our church’s young couples class. Time, distance, and life have kept us from staying in touch except through Facebook, but that doesn’t matter. Those friendships are our people for life. When we talk, it feels like no time has passed. Her disappearance has brought us together again, and this time, it’s for keeps. Life is so precious.

Her disappearance has prompted me to conduct a personal mental health inventory. As I reflect on how far I’ve come, I’ve also had to admit this weekend that I’ve struggled since January. I’ve experienced a couple of PTSD episodes that I had to rebound from, plus a feeling of depletion. When this happens, I face anxiety, sleeplessness, and a bit of paranoia. I’ve come so far in the past year and a half, and now it’s time to continue my healing instead of ignoring the symptoms.

Part of my issues (which I was going to write a whole post about, but now it will have to wait) is that my uterus is exhausted, and it’s time to retire the old girl. She’s been a good one, but she’s gotten cranky in her old age. It looks like I have adenomyosis, along with all the symptoms that come with it. It’s been a bit hellish. On May 6th, I will have a partial hysterectomy.

I don’t mind being vulnerable here, but I also don’t want to bleed all over the page. My friend is missing, my mental health needs care, and my uterus is failing—I’m overwhelmed. It’s time to write in my journal. So I’m going to take a little break. It pains me because I wanted to keep writing each week as a good practice. But my husband reminded me today that sometimes, even the good things must be put on hold to focus on the better things. I’m not sure when I will return, but I will.

God bless you all, and thank you for your continued encouragement. I will be okay; I just need to catch my breath. Above all, please pray for Leah Miller to be found.

“The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help.
He rescues them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

The righteous person faces many troubles,
but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.
For the Lord protects the bones of the righteous;
not one of them is broken (Ps. 34:17-20 NLT)!”