Baptistland by Christa Brown Book Review
Not all can be made “right,” but some can be made whole in the middle of the brokenness.
This week, to continue my series on Mental Health Awareness Month, I am reviewing Baptistland by
.For those sexually abused as children, statistics are grim; the CDC says, “Childhood sexual abuse affects about 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 20 boys in the United States.”[1] This is staggering. In their lifetime, many survivors will struggle with depression, PTSD, addiction, a higher possibility of sexual assault, and a higher chance of suicide or suicide attempts, to name a few.[2]
The tragic effects of sexual abuse and harassment at any age are damaging. They are especially detestable when the perpetrator is someone in a position of religious authority, professing faith in God and using faith as a tool to abuse. We should be able to trust our clergy, teachers, youth leaders, elders, deacons, and ministers—they are supposed to set an example of faithful living. When they become abusers, the depths of damage are difficult to describe.
Baptistland is a stunning memoir by Christa Brown. Her clear and intentional writing is so effective I felt like she was speaking directly to me. Christa is a retired appellate lawyer, yoga instructor, sexual abuse survivor, and committed advocate for those abused.
The memoir reveals the intricacies of her personal life and her work to hold the Southern Baptist Convention accountable for her abuse and the abuse of hundreds of others that the SBC has attempted to keep hidden. She takes the reader into her home and allows them an inside look at her troubling childhood. The reader feels they are with Christa as she describes the happy and harrowing moments of growing up in a complicated family environment.
When she described the abuse she endured for months by her youth pastor, I felt as though she was telling me the story in a quiet conversation over a cup of coffee long since gone cold. I wanted to hold her hand, dry her eyes, and intervene somehow. At this point in the book, it may be challenging to continue. I urge you to stay with it; an honoring thing to do is to read her complete story and face the difficult truths about sexual abuse within the Christian church—particularly within Baptist denominations.
When Christa’s book shifts to adulthood, we are invited to peek into her life’s joys— her overseas adventures, moments of tenderness with her dad, finding love, her daughter, her job, and her advocacy work for herself and other sexual abuse survivors. My heart swelled during these moments, and I cheered her on. There were also moments of sorrow— the continued brokenness in her family, the betrayal of the SBC, the deep pain of the abuse she endured, the stalking and bullying by Christians devoted to the SBC, and the irrevocable break between her and her sisters. My heart crumbled during these moments. Yet, many of us who have experienced suffering have lived in the ebb and flow of joys and sorrow, like waves continuously lapping on the shore. This is what makes her story relatable. One does not have to be a sexual abuse survivor to understand and empathize with the hills and valleys of her life.
Baptistland asks us to care about what is happening in our churches and ministries concerning sexual abuse. It asks us to use our collective voices and demand justice for those abused within the church. It compels us to cry “COME CLEAN!” to those trying to cover up abuses. It asks us to demand reform and change within our denominations.
Christa is a voice for those unable to speak about their abuse and for someone like myself who is trying to make sense of all that happened as a child. For us, though not the same story, we recognize ourselves within the pages—the family dysfunction, the multiple abuses and harassment, the emotional deaths, the struggle to overcome, and by God’s grace—some redemption and joy.
My favorite quote from the book is,
Sometimes the darkness still sneaks up on me, and I feel again its weight. Out of the blue, I’ll feel yanked back out to sea and there’s a storm brewing. But I am learning to make peace with the wildness of the sea. I have seen this roiling pattern often enough that when I feel myself going under in the darkness, I take a deep breath and wait for the waves to calm. Eventually, I float back to shore. I’ve come to understand that wholeness does not derive from eradicating our wounds, our scars, our traumas; rather, wholeness emerges in the midst of these things.[3]
This quote encouraged me to walk through the liminal space between abuse and therapy gently. It gave me permission to acknowledge that not all can be made “right,” but some can be made whole in the middle of the brokenness.
Please take care of yourself, survivors.
Thank you, Christa Brown.
[1] “Fast Facts: Preventing Child Sexual Abuse |violence Prevention|injury Center|CDC.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, April 6, 2022. Last modified April 6, 2022. Accessed May 14, 2024. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childsexualabuse/fastfact.html.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Christa Brown, Baptistland, Grand Rapids, MI: Lake Drive Books,386-87.
Last year, and because I was a part of an organization that mentor's women who have been traumatized by sexual abuse, this video/book study was required of me for continuing education.
https://churchcares.com/ This is a valuable series for churches to use in order to help the victim and know how to respond to the abuser. It is a mix of people who are involved in the series including police officers in the SVU, as well as counselors. Darby Strickland is involved in the making of the video series.
In generations past, this includes my parents, people did not discuss certain things. They did not talk about abuse, or it was rare and shared in a mumbled type of way that was not really expressing the horrendous abuse. It was shut away in a closet somewhere with the idea that if it is not talked about and ignored "it" will not have to be dealt with. A fallout of sexual abuse for the victim is a feeling of shame over what has happened and thus not wanting to talk about it but ignore it all together or minimize. So, in being told not to talk about the abuse it makes things worse, and the feeling of shame is magnified and internalized even more. This does incredible damage to the victim.
I'm so glad I found this. I was 20 years in an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church where the pastor had 2 trials after the church closed. One for physical abuse in a church school and one for women he groomed to sexually assault. He went to jail for both. I was, by the grace of God, not one of his victims, but I feel God had me there to write about it. I'm currently trying to finish my rough draft. This sounds like a great book to read as well as a resource for others. My daughter is living rough now as a fentanyl addict after she was sexually assaulted by a Christian. I know so many whose lives have been torn apart by this.